Yesterday I had a fight with someone who is extremely important in my life. They had said something that I never thought they would even think. Quoting "you don't care about me, and its obvious I love you more because its so damn easy for you to hurt me." After giving months and months to this one relationship in my life, I decided I was going to move on. How dare I be accused of something like this? All I have done is cared and loved and given my time and attention; and then I'm accused of the exact opposite?
I put my phone off and started watching Vampire Diaries (its a great distraction, I thought. Turns out Stefan and Elaina would never let me forget my fight for even a second). 2 hours later, when I put it back on, within 3 seconds I got their bbms, 4 of their PIN messages and 3 emails. Within 5 seconds, they were calling. How the hell did they even know my phone was on!? Had they been checking their phone to see the "D" sign on bbm every 1 minute FOR TWO HOURS!? Cute. But I was still angry. I cut 4 calls, and put the phone back off.
I put it back on before sleeping, and the same procedure repeated itself. Except this time I had read the previous mails and PIN's and seen how terrible they felt about saying that. So I picked up. The direction of the conversation and how it started is irrelevant, what is important is one thing this person said in it - "I have been thinking about this intensely for the past hour and I've thanked you a million times for caring so much and loving me like this, I cant believe I said those things to you today which are the exact opposite, I'm sorry. Please, please forgive me."
And then it struck me. The epiphany which has converted into this post. Why was I upset for 3 hours and planing on ending the relationship? This person, my boyfriend, if you haven't figured it out already, is right! He's thanked me a million times for all the little things that other people on the world would never notice. Have I been ecstatic about that for hours on end? No. I smile, get happy for a few minutes, and move on. And he's thanked me a million times! Then why was I holding on to this one time where he had said the exact opposite? Why wasnt I thinking of the other 1 million when he had complimented me or appreciated me for being ME?
I instantly forgot about the fight. There was no forgiving to do, because he was hardly in the wrong. Maybe he slipped up once, but hey, to err once is only human. And I almost started beating myself up over even THINKING of letting go of something that had made my life so wonderful, and made me so happy in the past months... But then I remembered, hey, to err once is only human. :)
